Relations between natural and adoptive siblings
can be fragile. Know how to handle siblings by birth or adoption and
adopted and biological children.
Natural and Adoptive Siblings
The term 'siblings' refer to brothers and sisters.
Parents, who have their biological child and want to adopt a second
child, need to first prepare their own child for adoption much in
advance. It is very important to prepare the older child for the arrival
of a new child, in order to fight feelings of jealousy, sibling rivalry
and loneliness. Sibling rivalry is a part of growing up. It means the
competitive feelings and actions that often occur among children in a
family. However, parents need not be stressed out to curtail the emotion
as there are ways by which you can reduce sibling rivalry.
One of the key to avert sibling rivalry is that parents need to include
their child in decision-making process for adoption. Many a times there
are typical and intense sibling quarrels that may sometimes turn into
revolting natural vs. adoptive children competition. While natural
children claim to have more favors from you or expect closer bonds
(because of their genetic ties), adoptive children look up to you and
watch closely for your reactions. The latter might also feel scared, if
you scold them. Rivalry between siblings is an extremely difficult
situation for the parents to handle. However, we have provided below
tips to reduce conflict between natural & adoptive children, just
for you.
Tips To Reduce Conflict Between Natural & Adoptive Children
- Carefully considering the age of the child and the best time to
bring in a new member to the family can reduce potential rivalries
between siblings.
- It is very important to prepare the older sibling for a new role
and make him/her feel like it is his/her own sibling.
- Make adoptive children understand that they hold a special place
in your lives and that is why you brought them home in the first
place.
- Understanding individuality and treating children as an
individual is crucial. Help children understand that they have
different privileges and responsibilities, because they are
different individuals.
- Do not forget that all family members need a special place of
their own. Respect each child's space, toys, and time when he wants
to be alone, away from his sibling. Parents can reduce rivalry by
giving each child their protected turf.
- Avoid labeling or comparing one child to the other, or else it
will lead them into competition.
- Always watch and note when siblings are not getting along and
plan separate quiet activities for those times. It could be any time
like before dinner, in the car, before bed, and so on.
- Analyze your behavior too and watch how you treat each child to
see if you are contributing to the rivalry. Make sure you are not
playing favorites.
- Always allow the older child 'his/her space', which shows your
respect and interest in his feelings.
- Plan frequent family activities. This way you can enhance
positive interactions among your children both natural and adoptive.
- Avoid games and contests in which one of the children 'wins' and
the others 'lose' and always look out for activities and hobbies in
which everyone 'wins', if they cooperate with one another.
- Parents must hold both the children responsible, when a conflict
arises between them.
- Without taking anyone's favor tell him or her you expect him or
her to resolve the fight peacefully, without continuing to fight
about it.
- Above all, parents need to spend time with each one of the
children. Maintaining special connections with each child is
essential Make each child feel special and important. Try to spend
one-on-one time with each child every day.
